Forgive Me
by ShadowPhoenix2398
Summary: What if Himeno really died that day and Hayate couldn't save her? This is a death fic, so if you don't like... don't read.


Forgive Me

ShadowPhoenix

Suddenly, Hayate appeared down a deserted street in a swirling whirlwind. Along the path was cherry bloosom trees, blooming beautifully for the first time all year. But he didn't care about that, he had to see if she was still alive, still breathing. Himeno Awayuki defeated Takako, a.k.a. Fenrir, the Princess of Disaster. He didn't know how she did it, all he remembered was falling and trelling Himeno to get out while she still could. Contrary to popular belief, he didn't hate Himeno, he just wanted to make sure what happened to Takako didn't happen to her. Hayate loved Himeno with all his heart an thought that is he isolated himself, she wouldn't love him back.

An unrequited love. Yes, it was stupid of him. He should have just told her and none of this would have happened. Damn it, she wouldn't even be in this situation if he had just _told her_. 'Why?' thought Hayate desperately, 'Why her? Why did she have to go through this? I can't lose her! Please, be alright Himeno. I can't live without you.' Once he found her, he would tell her about everything! Then, everything would be okay, even if she didn't love him. He didn't give her any reason to love him. Atleast she would be alive. Safe.

Finally Hayate came around the bend and what he saw snapped him out of his thoughts. Violently. Himeno, _his_ Himeno, was lying on the ground, cherry blossoms surrounding her like an aura, her hair spread about her head like a halo of fire. The thing that unsettled him the most was the expression on her face. An expression of peacefulness. Happiness of which he'd never seen on her face before. 'It makes her look like an angel.'

It disturbed him, though. He'd never seen her anything but energetic and hot-tempered. To see her lying like this... he didn't want to think about it. 'Please, don't be dead. Don't be dead. I'll never forgive myself.' He cautiously walked over to Himeno. The walk became a run, a run of desperation and panick. He got to her side right when the other 6 Leafe Knights flashed into appearance, none the worst for wear. He absently noted that Shin was with them. It didn't matter how he got back. All that mattered was Himeno being safe.

He collapsed on his knees and noticed with horror and shock that her chest wasn't moving. He quickly checked her throat for a pulse. It wasn't there. With a cry of agony, he started shaking her shoulders roughly. "No, please don't be dead! Please! Damn it, Himeno! Breathe!" he realized he was screaming and noticed with shock that tears were pouring down his face. "Himeno... come back. I can't live without you. I... I love you." whispered Hayate brokenly, breaking down into grief-stricken sobs, rocking back and forth. "Came back to me."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The other six Knights stood there in shock. They had never seen Hayate cry before. Angry, yes. Disbelieving, yes. But he never cried. How could they not see that Hayate loved Himeno? Were they that blind? They honestly thought he hated her. They were also filled with sadness, but none matched that of Hayate's. They were cut from their musings by the sound of the Knight of Wind's hoarse voice. "How?" That one word was enough to convey his feelings.

"She... she gave up her Leafe to Fenrir. I think that the power of Himeno's life killed her instantly, but I might be wrong." said Kei's solemn voice. Hayate growled like a caged animal. "Good. If I saw her again I would have ripped her to pieces!" exclaimed Hayate, tears still dripping down his face. They were frozen with the sound of Hayate's cold, furious voice. They saw that he was still clutching Himeno to his chest. Still rocking back and forth.

Shin asked quietly, "Why isn't she waking up?" The sound of Shin's voice started the older Knight's out of their stupors. That was enough to reduce Hayate in a reckless rage again. He screamed a song of heartbroken regret and bitterness, he screamed to the sky, "WHY? WHY HER, DAMN IT? I LOVED HER! WHY HER?"

Finally, he fainted out of exhaustion. The Knight's stood, frozen. They'd never seen their inpromptu leader like this. And, frankly, it scared all of them out of their wits. His words scalding their minds, Go picked up Hayate while Sasame carried Himeno. Kei was trying to comfort Shin, Hajime, and Mannen, who realized she wouldn't be coming back.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Once they were back in Leafania and placed the children to bed, Hayate into his, and Himeno in her room. Go, Kei, and Sasame sat down at the large table. Go had his face in his hands. They couldn't tell if he was sleeping or not. Sasame was slowly rubbing his temples to get rid of his heightening headache, and Kei had a pensieve look on his face.

Go, who was apparently not sleeping, said in a muffled voice, "I've never seen Hayate like this. Have you?" There were two murmers of no's. "Not even when he blamed himself for Takako was he like that." said Kei slowly. Sasame said simply, "I think he really did love her. Think about it. He was always being a bit... cold to her, " Here, Go snorted with amusement. "But, maybe he was just doing it to protect her." stated Sasame.

"What do we do?" asked Go. "There's no more Pretear to protect, no more Princess of Disaster to destroy. What do we do next?" Next Kei said, "We should give her a proper funeral," meaning Himeno, "And I think we should bury her next to her Mother." "Er, how are we going to tell her family?" broke in Go's nervous voice.

"I... have no idea."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So, things went on. Kaoru, Himeno's father, was heartbroken, as they thought she would be. The rest of the family was in the same state, even Mayune. They did bury Himeno next to her mother like she would have wanted and Himeno's precious flowers were placed in front of her tombstone. They didn't die, yet, something that the other Knights found odd. You'd think they'd wither away of something.

Hayate was either absorbed completely into his work or locked up in his room. He never visted Himeno's grave, something which confused the Leafe Knights. If he loved her, why didn't he visit her. It was almost is she never existed. Hayate never mentioned his outburst, but he did seem more pale and withdrawn. It was on such a day that Go confronted him, demanding why he didn't mourn her, being his usual hot-tempered self.

Hayate snapped at him to mind his own business and locked himself in his room for the rest of the day.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The other Leafe Knights continued their jobs like nothing was wrong while Shin, Hajime, and Mannon were home-schooled. Hayate became more quiet until there was a day when he didn't come to breakfast. None of the other Knights found this odd as he usually skipped it, but when he didn't come out for lunch or dinner, they started to get worried. Finally, Sasame got up and walked to the room to find out what was wrong.

His scream nearly shook the house and startled the Leafe Knights into gear. They knew that Sasame rarely, if ever, lost his facade of being the all-knowing, cool and collected, radio personality. So, they ran up the staircase to find the door of Hayate's room open and Sasame frozen in the doorway. They cautiously approached the suddenly ominous door and looked at where Sasame was so interested about.

There were cries of shock as they took in the sight. Hayate's room was pretty bare except for a desk, full bookcase, dresser, window, and bed, all in dark blue. Hayate was lying on the bed, his eyes open, but unseeing, his robe flown around him not unlike an aura of wind. His hair, which was slightly tinted white, was spilling over the edge of the bed, revealing his face, a lined face of serenity and slight happiness. What chilled them most, though, were his wrists.

There were identical cuts extending from the forearm to the edge of the wrist, revealing a dry line of blood. His arms were spread beside his in a crucifix position, which mae him look eerily similar to Himeno. There was no sharp objects by the bed, meaning that Hayate used his powers to kill himself, for what else could have such painful precision?

Then, they noticed a letter hovering in the air near the doorway. Sasame, slightly shaking, carefully took the letter and read it. After he was done, tears were rolling down his face and he collapsed with sobs. Go, Kei, Mannen, Shin, and Hajime read the letter together.

_Dear Leafe Knights,_

_I am sorry if this letter ever goes to you and if it does, I will say this. It's been two years and I can't take this anymore. This pain... I never knew anything like it before. It feels like my heart was ripped in two and fed to a Demon Larvae. You are probably wondering why I did this? I killed myself because I can't live on this plane of existance without my only love, Himeno. I want to be with her again. Everywhere I go, I see her face. With everything I do, I hear her voice. It's been slowly driving me insane. I'm sorry I can't stay, but she was my soul-mate, my beloved, my princess. You are probably wondering why I never visited her? I couldn't handle seeing the outcome of my mistakes. Yes, I admit, I screwed up with Takako. I never was a good Knight. I was a bastard, plain and simple. If I had only told her of my feelings, none of this would have happened. She wouldn't be dead and we'd all live in Leafania, a family. We'd live our lives without the madness of the Princess of Disaster. We'd live carefree, innocent lives just like regular mortals. I don't have anything to give you, but consider this my will and... bury me with Himeno. I know she's waiting for me... Can you please find it in your hearts to forgive me?_

_Forever Yours,_

_Hayate_

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: Well, what do you think? Please review, as it is my first story!


End file.
